Most of the funerals I've done have included Psalm 23 and so my talk has developed with each one. This is where it is currently, having added to it from my 1 Corinthians 13 talk: The writer of this poem from the Bible is no stranger to difficulty. He talks about being in the presence of his enemies and of walking through the darkest valley. Sometimes this darkest valley is called the valley of the shadow of death. This is a place where he might be scared of what could happen, a dark place where he cannot see what is ahead of him, a place that seems without hope. Today many of us here may feel as though we are walking through the dark valley from the poem, as we try to come to terms with the loss of someone so very dear to us. But the writer won’t be afraid and he won’t lose hope because he knows God is with him. The picture here is of God as a shepherd, with the writer of the poem as the sheep. The shepherd at the time this was written, would live with the sheep twenty-four hours a day in order to care for them. He was accountable for their welfare, for their protection and the provision of everything the sheep needed. So like the sheep experiences the care of the shepherd, the writer experiences God’s faithfulness. Even when he is walking through a dark place, a place of difficulty, God does not abandon him, he is with him, providing everything he needs. He knows that God will lead him to places where he can be refreshed, where he can eat and drink and sleep; places where he is safe. Later in the Bible, when people met Jesus, they recognised him as the good shepherd, caring and faithful. He brought hope of life beyond death; a hope for healing and a future. This is not a fool’s hope, a desperate wish for something better, but a promise made by one who knows us and loves us from before we were born to the last breath we take and beyond. This promise of God is that we are loved with such ferocity that, through Jesus, he has overcome death itself. Death is no longer the end for us and instead, we are offered the hope and joy of eternal life. Right at the end of the Bible, we are offered a wonderful picture of the future when this promise is fulfilled – a future when there will be no more illness, no more death, no more tears, no more goodbyes, no more dark valleys, when God will have come to make his home with us. Today, we are very much aware that that time has not yet come. So, until then, we can be assured that N is safe with the God who loves her; that all the precious moments we recall today are a foretaste of that glorious future; and that you are not alone. God, the good shepherd is with you and will not abandon you.

This was only the sixth funeral I've done, and was for my husband's uncle. I felt some anxiety about doing it but also worried that nobody else would know the family like I do. I'm not very good at doing practical things for people, but this is one thing that I can offer to people whom I love. There were added complications due to some difficulties between some members of the family. Auntie G chose the reading because they had it at their wedding and Uncle R had bought a card with the verses on for Auntie G some years ago, which has remained in her handbag ever since. Here's my talk: The words from the Bible which M read for us are printed on a card which R bought for G around 30 years ago, and which has been in her handbag since then, going with her, wherever she has been. It’s a gift which was bought as a reminder of the reading from their wedding day, and more importantly, because these words express the love that they experienced with each other. Patience, kindness, generosity, protection, trust, forgiveness. Love which I’m led to believe meant they never had a full-blown argument. I'll let you decide whether that's true! In another part of the Bible it says this ‘let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.’ God is love. Love itself, the source of all love, its realization and its perfection. All those words and phrases from our reading: patience, kindness, without envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs, but always protecting, and always persevering. So, if you were lucky enough to have been part of R’s family or one of his friends, colleagues, or trainees, and experienced his patience, generosity and kindness, experienced his love, you experienced something of God through him, and something of God in your response which has brought you here today. And so, it is right to mourn his death, to grieve that R is no longer with us because, in the words of Jamie Anderson, “Grief is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Death doesn’t mean that love disappears. As the Bible reading says, love always perseveres, it endures, it goes on beyond death. Although R is no longer with us, our love for him perseveres and his love is felt by those left behind. His love is his enduring legacy. But it’s not just R’s love that perseveres, it’s God’s love too. God loves each and every one of us with such ferocity that through Jesus’ death and resurrection, he has overcome death itself. Death is no longer the end of our stories because he offers us the hope and joy of healing and a future, an eternal future. This is not a fool’s hope, a desperate wish for something better, but a promise made by the one who knows us and loves us from before we were born to the last breath we take and beyond. This love is always carried around with us, like the card in G’s handbag with this Bible reading on. God’s love is always with us, and it is patient, and kind, it keeps no record of wrongs, and it always perseveres. It’s waiting for you, even if you’ve never reached out to God before, to be with you in all the highs and all the lows. So, even though things might feel difficult now, know that you are not on your own, that God is love, love for you, whenever and wherever you are, to be with you in these feelings of grief, until you too go to be with God in eternity.